10 Ways To Alleviate Gender Dysphoria Without Changing Your Appearance

I hate appearances, folks

If I could not have one at all–

That would be my choice.

Ghosts are too wispy, bad alternative–

Besides I gotta stay alive and survive ect.

Anyway, here it is folks–

10 Ways To Alleviate Gender Dysphoria Without Changing Your Appearance

  1. Draw/Paint
  2. Write
  3. Walk
  4. Make Tea
  5. Play a Sport
  6. Watch a gendered or gender-less show
  7. Play a gendered or gender-less video game
  8. Play or learn an instrument– Make Electronic music on the internet
  9. Go Fuck Yourself! 🤣 Engage in a low-risk sexual activity, preferably alone, so as to allow yourself to fantasize sexually without outside influence.
  10. Talk to a stranger/Meet someone new who doesn’t know you.

K after writing this lmfao I see now that it’s basically

In order of risk lmfao.

Here is where I will explain each point–


*participate in gender, or don’t!


A bit self-explanatory. Digital drawing, physical drawing, paper mache, napkin drawings, go outside, take a stick, draw in the dirt with it. Get creative folks– ain’t no gender to art. Ain’t no gender associated with your art unless you want there to be. Just do what you want and make it yours, your way. Express how you see, express yourself, express who you are without the burden of reality.


Like drawing– but for people with less patience IMO. I love painting, hate drawing. Fucking hate drawing. Can’t do it. Could be why I went ahead and made them two separate categories lmfao. Anyway– “but I’m not a painter” isn’t a fucking thing folks– don’t listen to these art school dropouts, everybody sucks at everything until they don’t suck anymore. Even sex. It’s unbelievable. People can literally suck at sucking.


Self-explanatory. I do it all the time. If you’re super reckless you can publish publicly and the world gives you a piece of their mind. Fun as hell, worth the grind.


Ever heard of gendered walking…? Me neither. I guess the 80’s had some, seems like it at least. Anyway– I’m pretty sure both Jesus AND Mary walked, and ain’t nobody had a fit about it. Get some safe, boring, genderless shoes on– or some super-duper gendered shoes, and get your show on the road.

Make Tea

Again– ever heard of gendered tea…!?!?! Ain’t no such fucking thing. Makes all people of all genders of all orientations feel better, at any point in the day. Too hot? Iced tea. Too cold? Hot tea. Sick of drinking tea? Put some honey in it. Sick of that? Milk. Hate all of these suggestions? Honestly idgaf more tea for me.

Play a Sport

This can be tough for some people. Some people are like– athletes. If your passion is sport, and your gender and your sport are a serious point of conflict for you and your experience in society, I deeply apologize. It sucks a lot. If it’s any consolation prize, trans folks in the arts, sciences, and in all other walks of life experience similar struggles. I will say, however, that no one has ever inspected my genitalia at a gig. So not really comparable, considering these anti-trans bills they toss around to terrorize the kids.

Forreal tho– sports. Basketball is cheap and accessible to most folks, tennis rackets aren’t that expensive and courts are usually free if you walk on. Golf is super gendered and super fucking expensive but like– tbh if you’re looking for some more gender in your sport– it’s a great choice~!! Martial arts, weightlifting, none of these things are gendered– but they have more and less gendered communities. When I say “play a sport”, I mean– assess what you want. Are you looking for bro friends? Join an ultimate league. Are you looking for lady friends? Yoga, yoga, yoga. Lean into the gender where it helps, and lean OUT of the gender where it hurts.

Watch TV/Movies/Media/Read a Book, Graphic Novel, or Comic Series

Another one where you can control the amount of gender/genderlessness depending on the director, cast ect. I’m a bit frustrated at the moment with a lot of queer media ect, I feel like is more queer “representation” than ever but tbh it’s so overflexed it’s clearly because the ratings are benefiting from slapping queer onto anything. Sometimes it’s because it adds something to the show, and to the meaning, and other times it is simply “representation”– which, IMO, is not really representation. Bodies on a camera don’t mean much, bodies speaking their perspective and challenging preconceptions is what means something to me, personally.

Anyway– She-ra, lumberjanes, Sailor Moon, Y the last man, Anything with Bear Grylls, sports, church, anything you want. Literally anything. If it makes you feel better, it’s working. If it makes you miserable, anxious, or upset– it isn’t.

Play a Video Game

There are so many degrees of gender in video games.

You can go full red-dead 2 or you can go full animal crossing on this shit. Sims is literally where you get to make your own families and the mods make it pretty much limitless.

There is literally a game for everyone and if there isn’t–

Please, make your complaint directly to me–

I will see what I can do about that lack of representation in video games for you, or

At the very least, point you in the direction of something I’ve played.

Play an Instrument

If you don’t already know one, or own a ukelele– buy a ukelele. Or play whatever instrument you want.


Playing a ukelele is the equivalent of wearing a dress.

It causes me great distress.

You probably shouldn’t hold your breath, waiting for my Mad About It — Ukelele concert.

That being said, it probably means it’s the perfect instrument for literally anyone else.

I just prefer bass, or lower. If you don’t have an instrument, or any interest in ukeleles– might I interest you in electronic music? You can literally make music by just telling computers to do it for you. If that isn’t the most badass thing in the world, idk what is. Anyway, this is how great artists like Sophie are made. Just fucking do it, don’t make excuses, and if you’re nervous about it– just don’t tell anyone. Keep it a secret. It doesn’t fucking matter, make joy for yourself and hoard it.

Go Fuck Yourself

Not as self-explanatory as my other posts, perhaps. Probably the thing that ya’ll might disagree with, however– IMO– you don’t really know what you like in bed until you’ve had no one to ask but yourself. Outside influences are a big deal. You can be in a relationship with someone for years and never even realize that you haven’t given yourself permission to be sexually free. If you could take the reins and top the crap out of your partner, would you? Could you? Do you? Best place to try it out first– in your head, by yourself.

⏰BOING BOING BOING lmfao sorry I just couldn’t help myself–

Sex doesn’t really have much to do with gender…? You can like anything in bed and like it with anybody, but– personally, I find that when I would masturbate, I only have success if I imagined myself in a certain role, with a certain physicality, and with a certain objective. When I assessed these things honestly, I couldn’t really explain my sexual interests as anything other than being a heterosexual man. Since following that path, I have dramatically improved my life.

Will you find any guidance on your gender identity, or any solace from gender dysphoria with this method?

I don’t know, folks– but keep in mind, that drawing– was my first suggestion. I don’t really think there are many things that can be said that won’t be bad advice to someone, in some situations. If you’ve already got a really hard time controlling the urge to masturbate, this suggestion might not be for you. Perhaps you are self-soothing your GID with masturbation– a common issue for many.

Don’t have a partner? You’re in the majority! Don’t worry folks that’s why I titled it– “Go Fuck Yourself”. Not because I hate you, but because, well– it’s a really good suggestion. You should enjoy fucking yourself enough to want to invite someone else to the party. That’s my perspective.

Talk to a Stranger/Meet Someone New

Yeah this one I feel like has some obvious danger involved, but tbh– since transitioning– nothing has brought me more joy than the interactions I have with random strangers. My friends, family, and loved ones all misgender me occasionally, all have to transition with me– all of their perspectives have to shift with time, same as mine. Strangers? Those people get me. They have no frickin’ clue I used to be some sad lady– they got no frickin’ clue. HRT is strong shit, but that–~?!?! Strongest medicine there is. Get your ass out there and meet somebody who has no idea what to call you besides how you introduced yourself. Be blown away by the effortlessness of being yourself around people, the way you’ve always wanted to. Not only is it a temporary relief to yourself, but it could result in new long-term friendships that bring you this sense of good natured-understanding all the time, and help it carry over into your older relationships.

Yeah I mean, it’s risky, and it can go terribly wrong– but if you’re older and you’re trans, the best suggestion I can give you is to meet some new people who may or may not know you’re trans. TBH whether or not they know you’re trans doesn’t even seem to affect most people because they still didn’t know you pre-transition, it’s still basically the same level of awesome. It’s fucking amazing. 5 stars would recommend.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Subscribe to the Blog

Subscribe Here!

Join 552 other subscribers


Follow me on Twitter

%d bloggers like this: