A Bit Of Difference

I hate my last episode.

I’m sorry, folks.

I hate a lot of the stuff I say

I hate a lot of the things I play

It’s in my nature to hate

What I make, I am

An imposter —

with a different face each day.

I am anonymous to all but fate

I disagree with myself. More than

All of your dissent combined I am

Not welcome, often, even in my own mind

When I speak I feel absolutely divine!

Perhaps I am a narcissist, a demon—

A diseased mind. Last Tuesday they said

I was going blind!

Pressure on my nerves, pain in my eye

Perhaps the dreams of dying are

Premonitions if some kind, I know I am not

So lucky, I am doomed to work and suffer

I will live a long life, maybe even two!

I will fluctuate between expertise and

What I thought I knew…

There is no point to suffering without learning a thing or two

I am wise, yet I am weak and stupid

I am confused, angry, obtuse and youthful

They say my vitamin d is low and I tried telling them

I’m a transgender man who used to be a

Fat butch woman and no matter what i

Try to change about myself, nothing makes

A bit of difference.