A More Honest Take On My Dating Profile

Single but

Unavailable, most of the time.

Open to going out to dinner but

You gotta be nice. Also helps to like the same places.

No, I don’t want to have sex

I just want to talk and flirt a bit

And maybe go on a vacation.

Literally just

Be trustworthy, watch my stuff while I

Swim in the ocean.

We can have sex if you woo me but

Forreal it’s gonna take a whole lot of


After that I swear to god

If I don’t enjoy sex with another partner

I’m just gonna be abstinent.

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