Alien Invaders

My cats are ridiculous

I know everyone feels this way

About their pretty little pussies

But mine aren’t actually cats

They’re aliens with furry little bodies

Logging my every move

Following me, constantly.

They are very, very pretty

They often ask for food

I give it to them, freely

Because otherwise

They climb onto my shoulders

into my brain stem

And implant their plan directly

They don’t like to wait, you see

They get very, very hungry

Aliens travel a long ways

To get to where they are

So you better give them food–

Promptly–

Or else–

you’ll probably get probed

And it’s not that pleasant,

Peasant.