“Allies” Scare Me The Most

Nothing shuts the conversation down faster than

“I’m not a bigot!!!”

And to me

Whenever someone unaffiliated

Announces their allyship

That’s what I hear—

“Don’t blame me— I’m not a bigot, I’m an ally!

I’m not part of the problem, I’m the

Big strong superhero straight guy !!!

Here to save the minorities with my

Superior strength and durability

To the haters I’ve never faced

Sheltering weaker humans from

Hate I passively entertain myself with”

Ahhhh yes, the allies

Making jokes about my experiences

Since before I burned those bridges

Funny how when all is said and done—

The minority voice is always the whiny one

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