Along The Pivot/Transsexuals Don’t Exist/Laws About My Behavior/”I Don’t See Binary” Lmfao, right…
Ain’t Nobody Talking About Anything Other Than What They Already Heard
Binary is a thing.
Sex exists on a spectrum
Two options with a whole lot of space in between.
The space between, being the non?
Not of the two, but also
Made of them means
Intrinsically tied to
The binary fabric that non-binary identities are woven from.
It’s more like a beam of light than it is
A bench point.
If any of us can walk
Along the pivot
Back and forth using our
It only makes sense for
Trans people to be able to
Be expats, or immigrants
Depending on your perspective.
The truth is– folks–
I have a uterus.
I had top surgery and had my
If I have a hysto I would have
A body with its uterus removed.
If I have a Phalloplasty
I would have a body with a skin graft
In my crotch, in an attempt to ease
My dysphoria, that I am
More or less satisfied with.
I won’t become transsexual
Those don’t exist. No one can change
Their sex. It’s immutable !
Gender is what exists
In a fuller spectrum, gender is what
You experience the world as and
I don’t know if it’s possible
For gender identity
To be seen, only
Gender expression, in the eyes and opinions
Of a stranger or better
None of it matters.
Most everything else is what you make it.
Violence and discrimination ?
Of course— to the extent that we stick out
Or blend in too well. Lmao too hot? Too cold as well.
That’s the honest to god truth.
It’s just totally out of our hands.
I could go hiking next week like I have planned
And get murdered by some redneck for who I am
Is that because
I’m being perceived as trans
Or is it because of my queerness ?
Both of which were things
I’ve been persecuted for here
I think, personally
Many of the trans people
Who are the most upset, the most outraged
Are those who blended into cis normative society
Pre-transition, and now
They experience a downgrade.
I went from fat dyke
To fat trans man
People generally like me more for no fucking reason.
They also weirdly think I’m ten years younger
And think I’m charming and helpful
It’s all fucking weird as hell
Sex— isn’t as wide of a spectrum
There are a couple dozen variations
And the non-reproductive types aren’t exactly all
Thrilled to be intersex.
To romanticize this
Is a huge mistake I have participated in.
While I think it’s really important
To deconstruct gendered socialization
I don’t think it’s important to get rid of
Gender and it’s many identities and forms—
Including traditional, “boring”, “ugly”, “conservative” masculinity. I think
The toxic part
Of toxic masculine and
Is the conscription, not either of the destinations.
Which is a huge part of why
I have been so at odds
With how much of online queer identity is presented.
How do you identify?
I identify as a pain in the ass.
I identify as a musician.
I identify as a good cook and
I identify as a reliable friend.
I identify as a reader, a learner, a listener
I identify as a poet, a writer, a bleeding heart sensitive—
I happen to be
A trans man
That, on its own
Says nothing about who I am.
I am, like gender, a full spectrum
The same way you are, the same way
All of us are. To reduce me
To my parts, is to not take a sum
Non-binary identities exist alongside
I don’t understand why
In order to be a “queer positive resource”
You have to state your terms
And correct anyone who speaks outside of them.
I’m not interested in a community
With laws about my behavior and identity—
That’s what I was mad about
With the straight shit I was brought up hating.
I’m sick of pretending there is some sort of
Evil cis person in the sky
Disrespecting all of our identities collectively–
There are individuals doing great and terrible things,
Some of them are cis, some of them are trans,
All of us are people coexisting
Trans people are in every state, in every city
In every country, in every generation–
Past present and future, there is
Very little that connects us
What am I complaining about? Honestly
I just wish ya’ll would stop speaking for me
When you say things like “we” pronouns
Maybe it’s just the plural gang IDK
Has been a basis for extensive discrimination
To say “I don’t see gender, I don’t see the binary
I don’t treat people differently”
Is like saying “I’m colorblind”
Cute, but altogether useless, dismissive, and