Along The Pivot/Transsexuals Don’t Exist/Laws About My Behavior/”I Don’t See Binary” Lmfao, right…

Ain’t Nobody Talking About Anything Other Than What They Already Heard

Binary is a thing.

Sex exists on a spectrum

Of binary.

Two options with a whole lot of space in between.

The space between, being the non?

Not of the two, but also

Made of them means

Intrinsically tied to

The binary fabric that non-binary identities are woven from.

It’s more like a beam of light than it is

A bench point.

If any of us can walk

Along the pivot

Back and forth using our

Natural hormones

It only makes sense for

Trans people to be able to

Be expats, or immigrants

Depending on your perspective.

The truth is– folks–

I have a uterus.

I had top surgery and had my

Tits removed.

If I have a hysto I would have

A body with its uterus removed.

If I have a Phalloplasty

I would have a body with a skin graft

In my crotch, in an attempt to ease

My dysphoria, that I am

More or less satisfied with.

I won’t become transsexual

Because arguably

Those don’t exist. No one can change

Their sex. It’s immutable !

Gender is what exists

In a fuller spectrum, gender is what

You experience the world as and

I don’t know if it’s possible

For gender identity

To be seen, only

Gender expression, in the eyes and opinions

Of a stranger or better

None of it matters.

Misgendering— words.

Most everything else is what you make it.

Violence and discrimination ?

Of course— to the extent that we stick out

Or blend in too well. Lmao too hot? Too cold as well.

That’s the honest to god truth.

It’s just totally out of our hands.

I could go hiking next week like I have planned

And get murdered by some redneck for who I am

Is that because

I’m being perceived as trans

Or is it because of my queerness ?

Both of which were things

I’ve been persecuted for here

I think, personally

Many of the trans people

Who are the most upset, the most outraged

Are those who blended into cis normative society

Seamlessly

Pre-transition, and now

They experience a downgrade.

Me?

I went from fat dyke

To fat trans man

People generally like me more for no fucking reason.

They also weirdly think I’m ten years younger

And think I’m charming and helpful

It’s all fucking weird as hell

Sex— isn’t as wide of a spectrum

There are a couple dozen variations

And the non-reproductive types aren’t exactly all

Thrilled to be intersex.

To romanticize this

Is a huge mistake I have participated in.

While I think it’s really important

To deconstruct gendered socialization

I don’t think it’s important to get rid of

Gender and it’s many identities and forms—

Including traditional, “boring”, “ugly”, “conservative” masculinity. I think

The toxic part

Of toxic masculine and

Toxic feminine

Is the conscription, not either of the destinations.

Which is a huge part of why

I have been so at odds

With how much of online queer identity is presented.

How do you identify?

I identify as a pain in the ass.

I identify as a musician.

I identify as a good cook and

I identify as a reliable friend.

I identify as a reader, a learner, a listener

I identify as a poet, a writer, a bleeding heart sensitive—

I happen to be

A trans man

That, on its own

Says nothing about who I am.

I am, like gender, a full spectrum

The same way you are, the same way

All of us are. To reduce me

To my parts, is to not take a sum

At all.

Sex, immutable—

Sex, is real— I have it —

Non-binary identities exist alongside

Reality.

I don’t understand why

In order to be a “queer positive resource”

You have to state your terms

And correct anyone who speaks outside of them.

I’m not interested in a community

With laws about my behavior and identity—

That’s what I was mad about

With the straight shit I was brought up hating.

I’m sick of pretending there is some sort of

Evil cis person in the sky

Disrespecting all of our identities collectively–

There are individuals doing great and terrible things,

Some of them are cis, some of them are trans,

All of us are people coexisting

Trans people are in every state, in every city

In every country, in every generation–

Past present and future, there is

Very little that connects us

Besides circumstance.

What am I complaining about? Honestly

I just wish ya’ll would stop speaking for me

When you say things like “we” pronouns

Maybe it’s just the plural gang IDK

Sex, historically

Has been a basis for extensive discrimination

To say “I don’t see gender, I don’t see the binary

I don’t treat people differently”

Is like saying “I’m colorblind”

Cute, but altogether useless, dismissive, and

A lie.


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