…Am I A Dissident ?
How did I end up like this
I was a straight a student !
Somehow I woke up
With a man’s soul with a
Woman’s life and I’ve got to solve
All her problems. I feel like everything I do
Is disonant within myself even though
I am stronger than I’ve ever been yet I feel
Weaker than ever, with my anger bleeding out
Into every conversation with everyone I’ve met
I don’t want to see, or talk to—
Anyone ever again.
Nobody understands— yet I’m a
Full-grown adult man and I am
Too far behind for any of this to make sense.
Why try to convince others of a truth
I’m too ashamed to admit, when I feel as if
I will always be a woman! Perhaps I am non-binary
To make light of gender, I need to! I desperately need to joke
About gender and sex and people and folk because
I feel like a fucking joke of a man
It’s not enough for me to be a joke
I need to make a joke of all of you people
You nonsense folk who’ve made a fetish out of
Calling me other, well guess what
I’ll own that title. I am other— nothing like you at all
Non-you, non-her, non-him
I’ve got more in common with a fucking squash plant —
My balls fall right off when the wind blows too hard
But in all seriousness,
Go fuck yourself! Love—
A die-hard dissident