An Idiot On The Fence

When I met her I was shocked I was simply

Blocked. I never imagined such a person could exist and

I wasn’t prepared to meet her.

My girlfriend at the time was acting jealous before

I even went and yet after the event

Things were never the same. My heart was just

Always aching. I never knew peace like the kind we made.

When I was with her it was like my brain had a noise cancellation mode

I would spend all day and night daydreaming about the way her skin smelled

I would pace around my room coming up with jokes

Praying for the chance to tell them smoking enough weed

To paralyze a horse to calm myself from staring

Directly at her without hesitation

I simply couldn’t bear any separation

Ever since we left I was hurt by how much

She didn’t understand. I couldn’t be her friend.

I didn’t want to be then and I don’t know

What’s possible now. Now I am a man

I don’t think she would be impressed.

I’m no longer so tempting and luxurious

Nobody in my life ever made me feel so desirable

And yet nobody ever refused me so easily so

I think perhaps

I’m just a sucker for romance, an idiot on the fence.