Big Deal Feels/HRT
When I scratch my shoulder it feels
Hard and thick and muscular and then it’s cased
In the same flesh and skin it always was, the softness
Thickening a bit more each dose.
When I touch my face it feels
So coarse and peppered and seasoned and
Wonderful the very feel of my own face
Gives me ecstasy.
When I use my legs they are so
Much, much larger than they used to be
They are so much stronger, so much more
Relentless and so much more eager to please.
When I get aroused, it is no longer
Something only I know
In my head it is now something
I feel physically, in my pants–
Even when I don’t want it it sometimes
Bulges and pulses and when
Something really sexual happens
When I’m physically active
It almost feels like my
Boner is raging inside of me, bumping into
Everything. Lmfao it hurts.
Sometimes when I’m sitting down
It feels like I’m sitting
On my dick, because I am.
The way I feel has changed
Inside, outside, all around and in more ways
Than I could have anticipated and
I don’t want to tell anyone about any of it
Because each time I try and express
Someone says it’s not as big of a deal
As I think it is, someone says
My face looks the same, my eyes
Are the same as they always were
When nothing about transitioning
Makes your fucking eyes different–
My head, shoulders, knees and toes are different
But my fucking eyes are the fucking same