Bikes Are For Everyone

All jokes aside

Bikes are for everyone.

Well, my ass disagrees right now

But he’ll come around in a week or so.

My ex took me to a bike shop sophomore year of college

Because we got an apartment off campus

That required commuting. Bikes were the answer

I got the cheapest model trek in the store which

As you know

Is 500x more expensive than a Walmart toy.

I think it was the trek 820, which

The guy at the store called a kids bike.

Lmfao— that “kids bike”

Changed my whole life.

I was able to bop around so much faster

Than with feet on the ground.

She got herself some fancy hybrid style

Road mountain extravaganza

And proceeded to treat me and my bike

Like shit

For the next three years

Because that’s how she treats

Absolutely everyone and everything.

Hindsight has taught me not to take it


Anyway— she had this

Big, fancy expensive ass hybrid ass bike

I couldn’t get on it even to see what it was like!

So tall, so terrifying.


I got meself

One of dem

Now I’m high rollin

Now I’m fast

Now I’m goin up the hills

Ass and all

I just

If I could do one thing

It would be to go back in time

And try to give myself

A much, much bigger ego.

That’s the best things anyone can do for themselves.

Oh, and get a nice bike

That makes you feel free, inside and out.

Try and live a life that lets you take your

Feet off the ground.

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