Body/Identity/Valid/Invalid

Again with the distinctions.

Here’s the thing in literally

Any field you’re in—

Distinctions are the whole deal.

It’s the big and little things that keeps

The roof from falling in

Distinctions, man.

As I transition and as I understand

My own body and my own image I wonder

Why it is

That the same community that gave us

Neopronouns, bisexuality AND pansexuality,

Non-binary identities, transgender people,

Lesbians, gays, and kinky people—

Why is it that the same community

Hell bent on making distinctions about

Absolutely fucking everything

Doesn’t feel comfortable or

Within their rights to make the

Very plain and obvious distinction between

A trans body

And a non-binary identity.

I suppose it’s all because

Who knows what that person will do—

They might go on hormones they might not

They might have surgery they might not…

Policing this boundary benefits no one

Much the same as all the other distinctions

However if you are so bold as to say

“I used to be non-binary and now I’m trans”

People blow their fucking lids.

Transitional identity?

Rude and limited. Loads of people

Go back and forth all directions all ways.

I guess

Personally

I used to be a woman

Then I transitioned

Now I live as a man.

It’s in three parts and I wouldn’t be able

To combine them they are so totally separate

In every fucking way why is it that

Trans—

As a category

Encompasses all of these identities…?

Personally I think it’s to keep

The angry teenagers on the internet happy.

After college, after gender studies

The world is your classroom and

Rebecca sugar and ND Stevenson do not

Hangout with you at work.

I mean, I’m sure they hang out

With loads of people, but it would be kinda

Unique in that way. You’d be lucky and shit I mean

There are loads of people in the world

Some of them are good

But straight up

Transitioning medically is a different experience

Than not transitioning medically.

Having top surgery made changes in my life

That nothing else did

Binding, hormones, talk therapy—

None of it seemed to matter as much as

Having a low voice and a flat chest.

I’m trans, but I’m not sure if I’ll be

Transitioning for my whole life

I think I was trans and now I’m just

A man just the same as anybody else

I just have womens issues from the whole

Born as one thing. Anyway

Non-binary people are valid

Does that make you feel better?

Yeah, me neither.

Ain’t nobody get to feel valid

It’s something you choose for yourself

That no one can take away

If you feel your identity is being

Constantly invalidated you might perhaps be

Waging war with the voices in your head.

Does this make you sad? Why would it

What a blessing it would be to hear

That transitioning is 2-4 really hard years

And then none of it happens again.

Unless, of course, you’re rushing

Finding solutions in places where problems grow

Insisting that your non-binary identity

Is being more or less disrespected than

Anyone else’s. All of us are just

Flesh bags hopping from one place to the next

It doesn’t fucking matter if anyone understands you

If you don’t understand yourself, which is

Hands down the hardest part of being trans—

You have to know

More than everyone else does

And you have to live with the decisions you make.

Ain’t nobody valid or invalid and

The idea of that is fucking sick.


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