Choose Your Gimmick

Part of me wants to be one of those content creators that just

Makes shit that sells and focuses on

Whatever hits the hardest, but the truth is

I see how that works and I think a lot of content creators

Are disgusting, greedy liars.

Which brings me to my next point I think

I would make a fantastic

Vegan cookbook. I am like

More equipped to do that than most.

I think I could make a vegan cookbook faster than I could

Decide which poems I’d want to publish

From the odd thousand of them that I love

So dearly I could never

Make money off of them. See, in order to sell something

It almost helps me

To not care much about it. I notice that

I do my best work

When I don’t care about the job whatsoever.

I would have absolutely zero issue

Publishing a collection of recipes

I have no intention of eating.

I don’t feel that I am alone in this, in fact

I see people do it like crazy, people who are

Regular chefs, who use veganism’s SEO

To help boost their reach and broaden their content.

Nonbinary folks do the same, my personal favorite

Are the

Queer, trans, vegan, nonbinary self-publishers

Like– what’s your business called…? Zeitgeist, or Copycat Cafe, or

Whatever’s Trending in the Bay ?

WTITB, duh– it’s all the rage.

Anyway, the post on my blog

That gets the most hits

used to be this–

10 Signs you might be genderqueer

But now it’s this–

I’m A Carrot-Chaser Too, Karen!!

Which- I’ll admit– is a funny title but like

Why is it that this article gets more hits…?

Because people are ridiculously, proudly fatphobic

They are constantly searching for ways to be thin, in their

Free time as well as when they’re working.

There are significantly more people

Looking for weight loss tips

Than there are people looking for gender identity shit.

It’s just how the world is–

Which brings me back to why I started writing this, I think

I’d be able to make more money–


I know that I would make a fuck ton more money

If I completely rebranded.

If I made ebooks and cookbooks and video content

About being a proud, fat, trans vegan chef.

If that was what I did I’d be fucking famous–

Especially when the footage of me at Wendy’s hits the tabloids

It’s almost too perfect I mean

I’m basically giving up movie deals

By insisting on having pride, and trying to have a more

Stable, more respectable, more conventional career.

You know, the sort of thing that

Trans representation needs. A real fucking person

With a real fucking job

Who actually fucking succeeded in society, not just

Some zeitgeist prop

Some trendy bullshit nonsense.

Anyway, I’m sure all sorts of other queer content creators understand

What I’m bitching about, at least the ones

Who aren’t trying to be con-thems, like Buck Angel.

I don’t know what the long-term plan for all this

Self-promotional “activism” is but I think

It’s plain to see that the only way

To be successful as a queer content creator

Is to steer away from authenticity, and instead

Put on a face, and choose your gimmick.

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