College Degree In Dick And Molly
A “personal trainer”
Who trained me until we broke up
After back surgery.
Tries her best to make career
Out of nature’s benevolence
“I’ve gained and lost the weight many times”
You don’t think that’s more than a
You’re pinching $40 off of people
Who could just go to an actual fucking athlete
Who went to college for something besides
Dick and Molly —
You never thought that maybe
Have been working harder than you
And are more deserving?
That’d be ridiculous right—
The same concept you refused to accept
For your lack of success
In every venue you’ve tried
Perhaps choosing a career
Based on discipline
Was not the best for you, after all.