Crap. I Mean– Pee.

One time when I was a kid

I was playing baseball with the neighborhood boys

And I stayed way too late, I really

Desperately had to pee. They could all just

Pee in the grass, but I just had to hold it

And…

I couldn’t.

I pissed myself.

And I was like

“Ooohhhh man–

Look at the time

I gotta get home for dinner…

At 3pm…”

They were like

A’ight later man!

So I started walking home

In my pee pee pants.

To avoid embarrassment

I took a detour, to my neighbors house

Which I knew had a pool in the back.

I ran and jumped in.

When I got home, I told my mom

I fell in the pool, like it was some sort of accident–

But I was just trying to cover up

The pee pee pants

Problem is–

She was like

WHHHAAAAAATTTTT

YOU FELL IN THE POOL

WHEN NO ONE WAS WATCHING!?!?”

And then I was like

Crap.

So I just never went to that neighbors house, or their pool

Ever again.

I swear my mom still talks about that lady like she’s a bad parent lmfao


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