Dosage vs. Time
I think I figured out why
I hate the microdosers
And the non-binary folk who talk about
Hormones like they are some sort of
Euphoric drug that they can
Self-administer and self-dose for
Certain effects, and not others–
It’s a fundamental misunderstanding
Of how HRT works.
It’s not about your dosage–
It’s about the time you’ve spent
With predominantly one or the other in your system.
Either mostly testosterone, or
A balance of man or woman, not a
Binary– a balance.
You can’t level the scales and
Lock it in place, it tips up and down
All over the place. It wants to self-correct
With one side heavier than the other, so
I just think it’s transphobic
To reduce our bodies and our healthcare
To appearance, motivated by physical goals
Motivated by an ideology of feelings rather than
The decision to live as what you really are–
Anything you want to be. Thanks to modern medicine
We have treatments to help those of us
Who need them. We don’t all get to look
The way we want to on instagram, and for most of us
That is not the motivation.
I am not a transgender man because I feel like I am a man–
I am a transgender man because living as a woman was a deception.
I identify as non-binary because I believe the differences between the sexes
Are less relevant than we believe them to be. Otherwise
You wouldn’t be able to change your hormones manually
And slowly, overtime turn into who you truly want to be.
That is what I am doing.
I don’t understand why it makes me a transphobe
To not want to be reduced to the dose of my hormones.
I also find it strange and more than a bit odd
To feel motivated to write journalism articles
For vice and others, about how
The effects of HRT are mild and reversible.
Why isn’t that shit being banned?