Everything About Christianity Is Narcissistic

All of it

Brazenly so

Much more than the podcast I mean—

Come on

Eve ate your apples so now

Everyone has to wear clothes?!?

Get over yourself!!!

Talk about a tantrum

Adam is far from the only offender, I mean

Jesus made some whore wash his feet

And then thanked himself

For allowing the whore to wash him

What a fucking champion of decency

Our lord and savior? Princess, please.

Boy I tell you what I would

Never ever call someone a whore

For bathing me, unless I guess she was

Washing my dick in the sink or something—

And she asked me too, hey—

Some people are into that sort of thing, anyway

I think Christians are obsessed with themselves

And their ideas of forgiveness, like

Who has room enough for grudges ?!

Stop forgiving me for crimes I haven’t committed

They’re all like

“Gays are sinners but

We are all sinners and

We are all forgiven” like

MYOB bitch I don’t forgive you—

I downright forgot. And that’s okay with me!

Until now when you’re essentially

Demanding an apology

For your behavior

Forgive me, is that not

What forgiveness really is?

I don’t enjoy conceding

To other people’s will, I would rather

Live honestly, truthfully, and

Not model my life after

The most successful con-man who ever lived—

Aka Jesus Christ superstar

The glory of god almighty but

Miniature prophet version I guess he is

The son of god but like—

He isn’t god himself? He is? He is

God’s son, or so they insist—

Literally none of this shit floats.

If they remade Christianity

As a Netflix special

That show would get cancelled