fArts/Judgement, Shame, Pity and…

A lot of my issues with fatphobia

Stem from my workplace, being

The arts.

Which, honestly,

Is nonsense to me, considering

I’m usually wearing all black

Playing hidden in the back

Sometimes they even turn the lights off

And hook me up to a monitor

So that I am completely hidden from view —

Im a pit musician, that’s what

We fucking do.

Why

Would it matter

What my body looks like?

It has always mattered.

It has always been

Something conductors, something

Colleagues, something

Judges and commenters

Have to say.

My weight and my body

Have nothing to do with my abilities

To play music. And yet—

This is something people see

As an obstacle in need of tackling

For the sake of improvement.

Whose life benefits

From all the constant nagging

From the constant negging

Why is it

That fat bodies

Aren’t allowed to complain

About being the butt of every joke

About the nonstop expectation to change

Why does it make you so uncomfortable

To hear that many fat people have healthy lifestyles

That they have healthy medical profiles

Why is it so hard to accept that

What is popular is not what is best

What is so hard to swallow

About some people being fat!!!

What is so difficult to understand

About each individuals body

Only being capable

Of so much change—

Why are you always entitled to my understanding,

But fat people are only entitled

To your judgement, shame,

Pity and rage?