Going to a Meeting Out of My Mind
I went to a trans guy meeting
I had fun, I felt fine
I got home
And I threw up in my mouth
Spit up, felt faint
Pain in my chest
So much adrenaline pumping through me
What does this mean?
Am I on the right track
Or am I on a highway to hell
Misfortunes and poor decision making
What kind of idiot does this
If you say anything like that
At the meeting
They all recoil
“That’s negative!”
“You’re being transphobic”
Ok so I didn’t say anything too overtly transphobic
But I did think it
A lot
What!
I hate myself! I’m not proud
About what I’m considering
I’m not feeling good about
Being misunderstood
Cutting my body open
Risking everything
If that makes me something
Something I’m not
Then so be it
I don’t need to feel pressure
To abide by your rules
When you preach breaking them