I Am Me

Being trans has made

Everything about my life more difficult

Except for loving myself—

My body, my instincts, my heart.

I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost respect

I’ve gained almost nothing besides

Worry, stress, some gallstones

And a whole lot of pimples

But the love for myself

Is so new, so fresh

So potent I almost wonder

How I ever survived before this.

I am still angry, I am still

Mad, confused, I am still

The loneliest piece of shit on the earth

With the least money and

Almost no self-worth

But I am me, more than I am her

That’s enough to help it all

Hurt less, heal more, even if

My immune system is fucking wrecked

By all the needles pumping me up

With imposter’s syndrome, I mean—

Testosterone that’s helping me “transition”

From miserable to misery I am

A man transformed—

I am me.

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