I Remember When Big Boobs Were A Hit/Okay, Okay

Used to be all the rage.

Teen girls getting huge implants and

Nosejobs and all the shit– same stuff happens now

But the trends are different.

Now you get breast reductions, now you get

Implant removals

Shaping, contouring– you get surgically symmetrical

Or however you see that

I think the golden mean would be pissed

Anyway– I remember when big boobs were a hit.

Now– they aren’t.

Now– it’s tummy tucks and facelifts and

Reductions of any and all kinds.

I am a huge believer

That the increase in top surgery is simply

An evening up from the old disparity

Between trans men and trans women–

Did you know trans women used to be

More common than trans men? Now it’s about

The same.

No surge, no increase to be worried about–

I just think it’s important to mention

That my straight lady friends

Have all admitted to considering reductions–

For silhouette, for fitness, for back pain

For all the reasons under the sun.

I don’t think it’s weird for there to be tons more trans guys,

But I do think it’s a bit odd

For so many genderfluid types

To have top surgery, and for me to see

Real sadness in their eyes.

Lookin at you, Ash Hardell, trans skater boyfriend,

Hell almost everyone on youtube who’s somewhere in the middle.

If your gender is fluid, try to make

Your expectations just as flexible.

For me, the procedure was nothing but relief

Despite being disabled and helpless I was finally free,

Something I didn’t expect, honestly.

Would I recommend it to anyone?

Honestly?

After having it done?

Why not.

Do whatever the fuck you want–

But just know what you’re getting into

And have some time to think about it, also

Please, for the love of god, experience

Someone else touching them

Before you decide to chop them off-

That I don’t regret, even though

Throughout my life I experienced

Intense dysphoria around my chest–

I didn’t see any reason to do anything about it

Before I was on testosterone, and for that

I’m grateful. Because the reveal I had

Was of the man I became–

I used to be half man, half-shame.

Did I get top surgery

To look a certain way?

No– that’d be insane

You end up with feet worth of scars

All along you like someone had to

Cut you in half in order to make you

Whole again. I was prepared to do

Whatever it takes in order to be relieved

Of my immense shame.

Again, do whatever you want–

But if it’s euphoria you’re seeking

If it’s freedom from being,

You might be disappointed if you go from

Okay, to okay.

Life is what you make it.