I Remember When Big Boobs Were A Hit/Okay, Okay
Used to be all the rage.
Teen girls getting huge implants and
Nosejobs and all the shit– same stuff happens now
But the trends are different.
Now you get breast reductions, now you get
Implant removals
Shaping, contouring– you get surgically symmetrical
Or however you see that
I think the golden mean would be pissed
Anyway– I remember when big boobs were a hit.
Now– they aren’t.
Now– it’s tummy tucks and facelifts and
Reductions of any and all kinds.
I am a huge believer
That the increase in top surgery is simply
An evening up from the old disparity
Between trans men and trans women–
Did you know trans women used to be
More common than trans men? Now it’s about
The same.
No surge, no increase to be worried about–
I just think it’s important to mention
That my straight lady friends
Have all admitted to considering reductions–
For silhouette, for fitness, for back pain
For all the reasons under the sun.
I don’t think it’s weird for there to be tons more trans guys,
But I do think it’s a bit odd
For so many genderfluid types
To have top surgery, and for me to see
Real sadness in their eyes.
Lookin at you, Ash Hardell, trans skater boyfriend,
Hell almost everyone on youtube who’s somewhere in the middle.
If your gender is fluid, try to make
Your expectations just as flexible.
For me, the procedure was nothing but relief
Despite being disabled and helpless I was finally free,
Something I didn’t expect, honestly.
Would I recommend it to anyone?
Honestly?
After having it done?
Why not.
Do whatever the fuck you want–
But just know what you’re getting into
And have some time to think about it, also
Please, for the love of god, experience
Someone else touching them
Before you decide to chop them off-
That I don’t regret, even though
Throughout my life I experienced
Intense dysphoria around my chest–
I didn’t see any reason to do anything about it
Before I was on testosterone, and for that
I’m grateful. Because the reveal I had
Was of the man I became–
I used to be half man, half-shame.
Did I get top surgery
To look a certain way?
No– that’d be insane
You end up with feet worth of scars
All along you like someone had to
Cut you in half in order to make you
Whole again. I was prepared to do
Whatever it takes in order to be relieved
Of my immense shame.
Again, do whatever you want–
But if it’s euphoria you’re seeking
If it’s freedom from being,
You might be disappointed if you go from
Okay, to okay.
Life is what you make it.