I’m Not Jealous Of Elliot Page
For sure for sure I am a bit jealous
Of a trans person who has enough money
And time and resources
To transition at such a rapid pace, however
I am not jealous of Elliot Page.
For example, I myself–
Used to go by Elliot
For about three months!
Changed my mind
Slowly, as I realized
That I hated having a name
That reminded me of my old one.
My transition has been full of
Mistakes, medical catastrophes, and mind-changes.
Fortunately, most of my problems
Are regardless of the testosterone, however
I feel it’s more than a bit suspicious
That so many things happened so quickly
When my dose was at its highest…
My point here is–
A transition is a process!
It doesn’t have a clear start and finish, it’s
More like making art than it is
Like making dinner.
Sure, paintings and other works of art
Can have accidents happen, scarring the works forever–
Same as bodies, same as sculptures,
People do things they regret, people
Change in ways they least expect.
Life happens to the best of us–
Which is why
I’m not jealous of Elliot Page.
One of the only trans people in the world
Who can’t really change his name.
Who can’t really change his mind, or even
Change his beliefs.
Everything he says and thinks
Is so public, and so picked to pieces–
He’s representing way too much
For way too many people.
It’s kinda the same problem we had
With Ellen DeGeneres– she came out as gay
And then people expect
Much, much more from her than dancing. They expect her
To be some sort of living savior. An example to others–
It doesn’t seem to matter
To anyone that Ellen is a paid actress,
The same way it won’t matter to anyone
That Elliot Page is a paid actor.
Their personal lives
And their business
Are in everyone’s worlds. Which,
To be honest
Sounds like a total fucking curse.