In My Head
In my head,
Everyone is getting tolerant at the rate that I am
Or similarly
You see, in my head
Things are getting better
People are learning
In my head
Everyone is reading, all the time!
They are insatiable.
Insatiably curious about what’s at stake
Between politics, the climate, and what’s for dinner
In my head
Everyone knows what I’ve been through
And they respect me for it
In my head
Everyone cares about everyone else’s problems
They say, “don’t do that!”
Whew, boy,
Thanks for the help!
In my head,
I want to take care of everyone else.
It’s not that hard to do,
if you take care of yourself
But in my head,
I don’t. I never do.
In my head,
I have to take care of others
More than I have to care for myself
The internet said this was because
I have a narcissist mother,
My therapist agrees.
In my head,
We are all in therapy
Despite how fucking expensive the bullshit is
I can’t believe I’m paying someone
To sit down and be my friend
In my head,
Everyone is my friend!
They are just unaware, for a bit
They’ll get the hang of it
In my head,
Everything is fine
As long as I take the time
To figure it out–
In my head.
I wish that
People would try to figure it out
From my head’s perspective,
We’re all doomed
And y’all are disappointing.
There’s a clock in here,
Tick, tick, ticking…
I’m looking for a crocodile
But in my head,
I’m not a monster
Or an alligator of sorts
I’m a poet, broke and troubled
Emotions are my sport.
In my head,
you could all see this
I look like a poet, at least
In my head
A poet and I didn’t even know it
But
How could I be a poet
Only in my head
And not know it?
I think because my head is on backwards
Life gon’ and broke my spine
Rearranged my mind
Now I’m stuck between
Knowing and being
Trapped, in my head
A man unseen.
In my head,
Everyone already knew
Everything I feel, all the stuff I blew
In my head,
They know all of my failures
And none of my pain
In my head,
They want to hurt me, they’re
Fucking bastards in here
Goddamn! Send help!
A mafia of fear
In my head,
Nowhere is safe
All must be corrected, rejected
Striving and driving and reaching success
You are nothing if not lazy
In my head
We’re all dead
Until proven guilty
Of living a life worth living.
Living and loving and being
A life spent free of concern,
Free of anxiety
Most of us only ever get to dream about
In my head
We are all living a double-life
Between where we are
And where we want to be
Visiting daydreams
Touring memories
Wishing for meaning
Where meaning shouldn’t be.
In my head,
Everything is meaningful
Nothing is scared, but how I feel
Is meaningful.
In my head,
Right by my hopes and dreams
I store my darkest fears
I’m worried there’s a leak in the jars
In my head,
It’s madness in here.