Inspiring

I am forced to be extraordinary

I am excellent by default

If I am any less than perfect then

I’m a disappointment and

it’s my own fault.

I’m expected to be inspirational

Otherwise I’m depressing, hopeless.

An eyesore on your commute

A stereotype; proving you right

Make light of me and watch time fly by

Make right by me and others will

Laugh, mock, stop inviting you to lunch.

If I’m not my best, then

You see me at your worst, not mine.

It’s not my burden, it’s not my cross

I am carrying the burden for all those who decided

To stay home, quit, be what they say

I’m inspirational because

I didn’t let all the bullshit

Get in my way.

What about those who don’t have a choice?

Those grasping at straws,

Hoarsely scratching their voice

Are you still inspirational

If you didn’t ask for any of it

And you just want to live your life

As if none of it happened?

What kind of inspiration is that?

Living a life, keeping a heartbeat

Despite the horrible shit they tried to do

Why am I inspiring,

What inspires me to inspire you?

Fucking nothing.

I’m just trying to live

Why insist on taking my life

And using it to justify yours

Your life is sad and miserable

You inspire me in so many ways

To be less like you, and more like a mole.

Why does my challenging, back-breaking,

Soul-shredding, mind-fucking,

Distance-inducing, harm-inflicting

Life inspire you?

You all beat me down, tore me open

Cut me up and sewed me shut

You’re inspired because I haven’t killed myself?

Ended it, called it quits, curtain dropped.

I don’t find that inspiring,

To stay alive listening to all you lot

Rot and shit and fuck and die

Searching for ways to “be inspired”

Wanna be inspired? Just fucking stay alive

Look outside

Watch a bird fly

I’ve never seen anything more inspiring,

Than a bird flying, or a worm squirming

Or a flower blooming.

Get your inspiration from somebody else,

I’m not inspiring,

You’re just patronizing.