Just Leave It Alone
She followed up hard on me bro
I don’t know
She was so vague yet so clear
It was so long ago
How am I supposed to be I don’t know
Was I supposed to say something else
Would it have mattered
She made it clear she didn’t see me as just a friend
I don’t know what any of it is.
She is a lesbian.
Just leave it alone.
But she didn’t
Certainly not then
She didn’t leave me alone for months
She texted me regularly
Following up like clockwork until
I blocked her to damn death.
I was so heartbroken.
I was being faithful as fuck.
I tried to get her to say something
When it mattered, but she didn’t.
I asked her over and over and over again
In so many ways
Do you have feelings for me
Are we just friends
Can you be my best friend I’ve needed one of those
For as long as I can remember.
And she just kept playing games
Hiding and lying and
Following up regularly I don’t
I don’t know what it was. I didn’t know them.
All I know is I need to just leave it alone
But I fucking can’t
I just want to know if this is an invitation to chase
Or something I don’t want to understand
Maybe that’s the block in my head.
Or maybe I’m just a fucking blockhead.