Just Leave It Alone

Background time.

She followed up hard on me bro

I don’t know

She was so vague yet so clear

It was so long ago

How am I supposed to be I don’t know

Was I supposed to say something else

Would it have mattered

She made it clear she didn’t see me as just a friend

I don’t know what any of it is.

She is a lesbian.

Just leave it alone.

But she didn’t

Certainly not then

She didn’t leave me alone for months

She texted me regularly

Following up like clockwork until

I blocked her to damn death.

I was so heartbroken.

I was being faithful as fuck.

I tried to get her to say something

When it mattered, but she didn’t.

I asked her over and over and over again

In so many ways

Do you have feelings for me

Are we just friends

Can you be my best friend I’ve needed one of those

For as long as I can remember.

And she just kept playing games

Hiding and lying and

Following up regularly I don’t

I don’t know what it was. I didn’t know them.

All I know is I need to just leave it alone

But I fucking can’t

I just want to know if this is an invitation to chase

Or something I don’t want to understand

Maybe that’s the block in my head.

Or maybe I’m just a fucking blockhead.