Live and Learn/Die Remembering

There are some things that you

Live and learn and there are others

That you die remembering.

For me it was hearing

My rich white privileged performative

Pretend ally faggot friend

Say

“Transmasc?! Lmfao

what an oxymoron—

The only point in being trans is to be

More feminine”

And the main reason it stings is because

This same person has heard me say

Time and time again how

There is no representation of

Trans masculine perspective.

Or perhaps it hurt because

The first top surgeon I saw at the fucking

Calo Spa in Louisville was just another fucking

Rich privileged white classist faggot who

Taunted me with latex after I told him

I had an allergy. Not to mention

Cancelling my surgery

Two weeks before the date because

Of a weight limit he decided not to mention

Until my deposit check cleared—

Or perhaps it’s the gay trans men

I’ve met who think

Masculinity is measurable

By pant size and

Fat makes you feminine.

Or perhaps it’s all the

Evil faggotry I’ve experienced

At the hands of self-loathing

Status obsessed

Fake ally queers

Who instead of recognizing

What their bullies were doing to them—

They simply grew up to imitate them.

Maybe that’s what I’m mad about but

Honestly, who’s to say

I have so many other problems,

Who am I to blame the gaggle of cocks

Popping up, red and angry

Whenever I walk and talk and

Remember honestly.

Sucks that life isn’t more like

TikTok or Instagram or whatever else

Y’all are liking, subscribing, and following.