Macho Thing

I have a real big

Macho Thing

I think, in part, due to my

Lack of a Ding-a-Ling

Also I’m kinda short

and I can’t dance or sing

Or memorize anything

Other than numbers, addresses

Things that are creepy

Instead of impressive

I can memorize music very easily

But my axe is not so soothing

I prefer brassy, brazen–


My point is

I’m macho, insecure, and a bit


I’m working on it.

I talk low, walk slow

I flirt a lot and I’m always

Cracking jokes.

In puberty I would practice a

Crooked smile

Now I just smile

Exactly like my Aunt–

A much funnier broad than I.

I could never dream to be such a woman

I’d sooner be like my grandpa, Virgil

He picked up a tractor when his

Friend was in peril

He’s that kind of guy,

He was also

Funnier than hell.

I’ve got a macho thing because

I might as well!

It’s fun, the ladies love it

I’ve got nothing to prove

I just like setting the mood

Don’t worry, you can still fuck me–

You just gotta let me lead.


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