My fat body is a shield

A shield I’m not allowed

To use, a shield

Others insist

Can take abuse. My fat body

Shields you all from the truth—

That I am human, that I have a brain

And a heart, and courage

Just the same as you.

My fat body is not obtuse,

My fat body is not obstructed

Only your view

My fat body allows you

To warn yourself, to compare

To judge, to welcome and to smudge

My fat body is the elephant in the room

With ears larger than all of yours combined I am

Sensitive and intelligent and aware

Of all of your petty pride

I am sick to death, not of

The fat in my arteries, not from the

Diabetes I don’t have

Or my healthy blood pressure

But rather from

The funnel of hate and shame

Surrounding me, force feeding

Heightened awareness and anxiety

Until I am finally brave enough

To do something and yet

The amount of which I have already done

The size of my commitment

My lifetime sentence—

Is never, ever going to be commuted. I am

A lifer and the way

You all treat me

Makes it hard to see the ending

Alas there is no movement

Towards fat acceptance, there is no

Body positivity

There is no mental healthcare for fat bodies

There is nothing

Just more shame more restriction

More discipline and more anxiety

It never matters if a thin person

Gorges themselves on pity

Or fattens their mouth with shame

A fat face is a fat face

Any reason to hate

Any reason to distance

Is a-okay

Just make sure whatever you say

Doesn’t offend the masses

The way my mass does

Fat around your waist



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