Monster

My ex always made me feel like I was asking for too much

But now I realize

With the amount that I am able to provide myself that

As a transgender man

With gender dysphoria

I require a partner with sensitivity and understanding

Who not just accepts me, who not just

Uses the right pronouns, or the right name ā€”

Those are bare minimum ā€”

I require a partner that champions my masculinity

Someone who nourishes me

Someone who gives me the space I need

To breathe, while also giving me a deep

Thorough soaking

In their understanding.

I am afraid of surface level conversations they always give me

Paper cuts and I want someone

That I can love as deeply as I fuck.

I deserve someone

Who sees me as I am when our eyes are

Closed and all I feel is

The parts of me that throb and grow

I am something new entirely and

I need my next lover to love

All of what Iā€™m growing inside ā€”

Even the power hungry monster that

Devours them at night.


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