More About Him

I mean like

Yeah I was always male in my head, I had

Clear distinct conflict with this as a kid and

Made my voice clear

My parents dismissed it and did their best to make me conform to girlhood but I refused

My dad still has a lot of issues with all of this

I don’t understand what he doesn’t understand

About it being none of his business

I also am genuinely confused

As a prospective parent myself I cannot imagine

Being more interested in my idea of who the child is

Than the reality of who my child is

I can’t imagine not listening

I can’t imagine not caring

I can’t imagine not knowing I can’t imagine

Being my parent

And not knowing me

Or wanting to but

It’s been thirty years and I have finally accepted that

My dad will never ask me how I am and actually want to hear the answer

He won’t respect my name or my pronouns

His political ideology and philosophy prevent him

From respecting his own children

I can’t imagine being so gay for trump

That you love your kid less

But that’s the situation I’ve been living in

For some reason all the financial independence in the world

Doesn’t ease the pain or the frustration

I just can’t understand

Why he expects me to care

More about him than myself.