Moving
POEM–THEN PODCAST UPDATE
semi-important for MAI fans.
We are moving, but oddly
Our things are the same.
I watch them come to life with
Memories, I watch them become
New.
Stories blooming every hour,
Pain erupting from my spine,
Fucking whatever, right?
It’s my problem, not mine.
I have too many projects
At once, right now. Both
In my life, in my move, in my work and
In my pleasure.
I am erupting.
I am demolishing myself,
From the inside out.
It’s a beautiful thing,
A proper demolition.
Planned, executed–
Delightfully full of inhibition
While also being
Totally uncontrollable,
Unpredictable.
A wild burst of destructive passion.
Organized just so to be
Unobtrusive to the neighbors
While maximizing my own pleasure,
Maximizing my own explosion.
Ahhh, yes. Moving.
A act of which I am familiar.
The stress, to me–
Is as a toxic lover
You shouldn’t keep them in your life,
Forever, but–
You need them sometimes,
To clear the cobwebs and
Finally throw away that junk
You really, really, really need to throw that shit away.
Goddamn, throw that
Garbage—!!!!
Away!!!
Don’t keep rot in your house,
Don’t keep rot in your heart.
Moving is a blessing,
Even when it is ripping you apart.
I think I need an ice pack
Over my whole body
Or just a restart button
Or an assistant for the fucking podcast
Seriously.
Anyway, I just thought I should let
The two magnificent-unicorn-saints
that read my shit
know
That I’m really stressed out and I am
Living poem by poem.
The show will go on
Once I’m all settled in
WHEN I’M DONE MOVING: I will have lots of podcast episodes all at once. I know
The internet is like
“If you want to have a successful podcast, you need to release episodes at the same time consistently and build a time-sensitive fan base”
I’m over here like
Ain’t no fuckin way am I gonna be able to guarantee shit to ya’ll.
The only thing I can guarantee, is that I will always make this stupid fucking podcast
ALWAYS
I WILL NEVER STOP
It’s too fun. The bass and the jokes and the nonsense. I love it. Sorry not sorry.
There will be a bit of a weird month or two where things are either
- Coming out all at once (heh_)
- Nothing. Nada. Oops, zip.
So
Stay tuned…?!
Hmmmmm…
I’m doing my best.
OH
Did I mention that I’m moving to a place with a room that I can soundproof? Because we aren’t going to be renting. ALSO it is small, and only has one window. This should dramatically improve the sound of the podcast. You don’t even wanna know what kinds of weird desperate sad cheap shit I’ve been doing to try to make the podcast sound better. If you saw where I record, you’d be impressed that it sounds the way it does. I promise you that.
That being said, I know that the podcast audio quality is not amazing. IT IS GOING TO BE PROFESSIONAL SOUNDING IN LIKE, A FEW MONTHS. JUST WAIT PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ
If you want proof, you will just have to stick around. I’m going to try and get the “Queer Eye” episode to sound as pro as possible for the normies that inevitably find it. I might record “squirting” in my closet tomorrow or something.
here are the episodes that will be coming out within the next few months:
- Squirting
- Queer Eye Season 2
- She-Ra Season 2 (I KNOW RIGHT OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG APRIL 26 OMFG)
- Music Series 4 Featuring 60’s Music (I shamelessly want to nail Leslie Gore)
- Masturbation, whackin’ it, jackin’ it, self-massage, solo sex, the works–but by yourself