semi-important for MAI fans.


We are moving, but oddly

Our things are the same.

I watch them come to life with

Memories, I watch them become


Stories blooming every hour,

Pain erupting from my spine,

Fucking whatever, right?

It’s my problem, not mine.

I have too many projects

At once, right now. Both

In my life, in my move, in my work and

In my pleasure.

I am erupting.

I am demolishing myself,

From the inside out.

It’s a beautiful thing,

A proper demolition.

Planned, executed–

Delightfully full of inhibition

While also being

Totally uncontrollable,


A wild burst of destructive passion.

Organized just so to be

Unobtrusive to the neighbors

While maximizing my own pleasure,

Maximizing my own explosion.

Ahhh, yes. Moving.

A act of which I am familiar.

The stress, to me–

Is as a toxic lover

You shouldn’t keep them in your life,

Forever, but–

You need them sometimes,

To clear the cobwebs and

Finally throw away that junk

You really, really, really need to throw that shit away.

Goddamn, throw that



Don’t keep rot in your house,

Don’t keep rot in your heart.

Moving is a blessing,

Even when it is ripping you apart.

I think I need an ice pack

Over my whole body

Or just a restart button

Or an assistant for the fucking podcast


Anyway, I just thought I should let

The two magnificent-unicorn-saints

that read my shit


That I’m really stressed out and I am

Living poem by poem.

The show will go on

Once I’m all settled in



WHEN I’M DONE MOVING: I will have lots of podcast episodes all at once. I know

The internet is like

“If you want to have a successful podcast, you need to release episodes at the same time consistently and build a time-sensitive fan base”

I’m over here like

Ain’t no fuckin way am I gonna be able to guarantee shit to ya’ll.

The only thing I can guarantee, is that I will always make this stupid fucking podcast



It’s too fun. The bass and the jokes and the nonsense. I love it. Sorry not sorry.

There will be a bit of a weird month or two where things are either

  1. Coming out all at once (heh_)
  2. Nothing. Nada. Oops, zip.

Stay tuned…?!


I’m doing my best.


Did I mention that I’m moving to a place with a room that I can soundproof? Because we aren’t going to be renting. ALSO it is small, and only has one window. This should dramatically improve the sound of the podcast. You don’t even wanna know what kinds of weird desperate sad cheap shit I’ve been doing to try to make the podcast sound better. If you saw where I record, you’d be impressed that it sounds the way it does. I promise you that.

That being said, I know that the podcast audio quality is not amazing. IT IS GOING TO BE PROFESSIONAL SOUNDING IN LIKE, A FEW MONTHS. JUST WAIT PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ

If you want proof, you will just have to stick around. I’m going to try and get the “Queer Eye” episode to sound as pro as possible for the normies that inevitably find it. I might record “squirting” in my closet tomorrow or something.

here are the episodes that will be coming out within the next few months:

  • Squirting
  • Queer Eye Season 2
  • Music Series 4 Featuring 60’s Music (I shamelessly want to nail Leslie Gore)
  • Masturbation, whackin’ it, jackin’ it, self-massage, solo sex, the works–but by yourself




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