My First Apology

I’m not waiting for an apology.

Anymore, at least

I used to be?

I’ve accepted that those don’t come

Rarely, if at all

And that my peace will come

From within me.

Or at least,

From these pills they gave me.

I got one, though!

Earlier this year!!

An apology,

I mean.

I didn’t know how to respond

It was from a man

Who had insulted me

Of course, only

After I had become one.

All the 27 odd years of

Being a fat woman, I didn’t know

What was happening to me

When I heard my first apology.

I thought perhaps I was being

Pranked, again, and I braced myself

For whatever would happen next…

Which was…!!!

Nothing.

Just a man apologizing to another man.

The first time someone had recognized

My pride as something that could be

Wounded.

It took me about six months after the fact

To realize that in order to get

An apology, the other person has to give you some

Respect.