My Mom

My mom is a narcissist.

It makes it really hard to talk to her–

Everything is about her all the time and

If I say anything remotely critical or negative

Or if I say

“Hey, that really hurt my feelings”

She will never apologize she will just

Explode and go into the various reasons by which

I am bullying her, or say how mean I am.

Everything I attempt she says she has done before

Even when she hasn’t. She will lie

Like it is her fulltime job. Because of this

I am both very ambitious

And also crippled. Everything I do is barraged with

Lies and assumptions. It’s made it really important to me

To be honest

As an individual I prioritize honesty more than anything

But in practice it just makes me

Easy to manipulate

By narcissists

Who lie to me profusely.

I am so genuine and hardworking I am just

A fucking narcissists dream I will literally

Love you for ten years while you hide me from your family and control

Every part of me. I am broken in this way

I think perhaps

The best thing for me to do

Is be single forever, that way at least

I know

I’m my priority. Because whenever I date anybody

They take priority over me. I learned this

From my mommy lmfao.

After two relationships that ended

Similarly with both parties realizing they were simply

Using me I wonder

Why is it

That I want to be used in such a way. Why do I desire

Disrespect. Why do I listen to the narcissists.

It’s gotta be imprinted or something, more

Twilight shit.

All the worst traits of my mom are the same as my exes.