Passing as Invisibility/Invisibility as Privilege/Power over Perception/Poster Child Effect
Ya’ll say there’s no passing privilege but
There absolutely is, also
The trans men I’ve been looking for
Are so cis passing
I couldn’t recognize them, however
In almost every one of these
Cirucumstances
Of trans representation
You see
A thin, cis-passing trans person
As somehow
Proof that that is what trans looks like
That the passing itself
Is an act of revolution, that
The performance itself
Is the transformation
No one is interested in a trans voice
That is fat and angry and bitter and sad
Which in my opinion
Paints a pretty unrealistic picture.
I don’t mean to be a total
Cunt about it but
Ian Harvey literally isn’t even funny
I fell asleep during all of it, and
To be honest– the audience
Is all just marveling at his existence.
Here–
This guy is so boring I can’t even.
To me the only thing there is
To be mesmerized about
Is how handsome and rugged and
Trans he is– which arguably
Has absolutely nothing to do
With any choices or lifestyle he has made–
He– much like me–
Seems to be blessed with the genetics
To turn him into a wildebeast.
It also makes us “pass” as “not trans”
Am I envious?
Sure, I guess
I’m mostly just confused
By how fickle and how two-faced
And how insincere and misogynist
The trans movement is.
A trans man can only pass
Once he becomes man enough
To be indistinguishable from the rest
That perspective is not mine to handle
I do not have complete control over my appearance,
I do not have complete control over other’s perception
I can’t even be certain
That people driving on the road
Aren’t texting with shotguns riding shotgun
You have to take a leap of faith.
Transitioning is a massive leap of faith
Honestly– I don’t want to be on tv
Or anywhere near any of the Elliots
Or any of the Ians or the Harveys
I just think it’s time the trans community acknoledges
The difference between
A healthy transition goal
And reality.
Not all trans bodies can take HRT without side effects
Not all trans bodies want surgery and
Not all trans bodies hate their adipose tissue,
Not all people see fat as feminine and
You shouldn’t have to be
A walking talking poster child for the trans community
In order to be respected
I guess
For some reason
It is some sort of sin for me
To want to see someone that represents
Less than an ideal representation