Lately I’ve been traveling for work and

It gave me so much anxiety that

I literally shat myself and threw up.

The coolest thing about

Being in the world so deeply submerged that

I couldn’t breathe is that I finally got to see

Other people facing the same issues

Or different, harder issues

And making the best of it

Doing their best

Rising above the tide and

Bracing the wave

You gotta do that

So that you get to see how much

Comradery there is between

People working towards a common goal

When they’re being paid enough to float.

Everyone has a family

Everyone has needs

Everyone gets anxiety and

Everyone wishes they could be at home

In their sweatpants

But not everyone gets what they want

Some people have to make themselves home

What I realized now is that

Before when walking in the world

I wasn’t at home

Within myself.

I wondered how I could possibly survive

The stress of leaving home for so long

Without having a place to come home to—

Never realizing that I’ve been working

All these years

On making myself home

To myself

And that everyone else has had that all along.

It’s hard not to feel

Like a nubile baby

When you’re moving into yourself

For the first time

In more than 28 years I am

Finally home.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but

I look forward to where else I can go

Now that I am so mobile.

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