Pot Belly

I dunno man.

There’s the testosterone, there’s

Top surgery, there’s

Weightlifting, clothing, voice training–

All the things you can do

To try and blend in as a man–

What does any of it have to do

With identity, besides the overwhelming

Rightness I’m feeling.

At the end of the day

I feel exactly the same, just

When I talk to other people

It’s a world of difference.

Sometimes it hurts and sometimes

It’s pure ecstasy and yet

The idea that gender is a socialization

Is offensive to those who don’t want

Gender involved in their socialization.

In my experience

The only part of transitioning

That is unique to being trans

Is the dramatic socialization change —

Surgery was not as intense

As a night and day difference

From living as a woman. I think perhaps

Everyone is right, and no one is wrong

But to blame transphobia

For all of your struggles

Is to call the kettle black, with a pot belly

Full of hot air and garbage

Nonbinary erasure, much like

Bisexual erasure

Is an environmental problem.

Nothing about

What is, can be erased

Unless that’s not really what’s bothering you…

When you look in a mirror

Sometimes you see dirt on your face, and

It’s up to you to clean it,

If you scrub and scrub and scrub

Trying to get the dirt off

But there is none– you’ve got

Something else on your mind, I bet– bud.

Since when does it matter

If everyone respects your identity, ain’t nobody respect

Fucking anybody. When you think about it

For more than a second, it becomes a blessing

Not an insult.

That being said, if you’re spending time

With misgendering, transphobic, pitying judgmental assholes

Being alone is always going to be better than that,

Just make sure it’s not yourself.


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