Pro-Reality Trans Person

I’m a pro-reality trans person

I understand that while

My identity and pronouns can be respected

My physical reality must also be respected.

I will not slowly over time

Morph into a “Big John” type

If I had been born a man

I would be a Bubba

A Big John, a Bubba, a

Large pale muscular rural country guy

With a lot of bad assumptions that come with him.

Instead I was born

A sad, diseased lesbian

Who decided to take steroids

Until I grew a beard and got

Some bone density.

Sure— I’m much stronger

Than I used to be

But I’m not the way

I would’ve been

If I had been born a man, and

I’ll never be. I cannot transition

“Fully”, so to speak

To me, a full transition

Would be to have a body that is functionally masculine

A penis, testicles that work, semen that

Creams pies, you know the kind—

Anyway

I’m a “reality-focused” sort of trans guy

And yet

All of the people around me

Have completely unrealistic expectations

Of what I should want, what I should look like

Who I’m supposed to be

I’m the same fucking person as before

Just hairy and

Had a lot of health troubles with HRT

That still follow me—

Knowing what I know now

I wouldn’t recommend HRT to anyone

Unless they were truly at ropes’ end.

But that—

That’s not something the

“Trans community”

Allows you to say —

You aren’t allowed to talk about

Your thick blood, or your intracranial pressure

You aren’t allowed to say anything

Other than

“I’m a work in progress—

I love myself, but…

There are still a thousand things

I would change if I could afford to”

Saying things like

“HRT made me sick”

Is a one-way ticket to being silenced