For me, personally
The problem lies in that
The demographic I am in,
Or rather— demographics
Are what I call
An identity or demographic that someone
Is a part of, that changes and reforms
Throughout their lifetime.
Being fat as a kid
Is a classic example .
I’ve heard the old—
“I was a fat little kid and now I’m not—
I learned how to fix myself”
More times than I’ve tied and untied my shoes
(I’m a foot smoosher— I don’t tie often)
Gives someone a sort of
Progressive identity, a
They were fat, in a certain circumstance
And now they aren’t.
These people typically believe in thin privilege
Because they’ve either gained it or lost it.
Trans identities are similar in that
You start one way
And you transition to another.
Your friends and family
All “compliment you”
On your “changes”
Even if you barely notice them yourself.
It feels insincere, hopeless and a bit
Out of the realm of what is real.
And the whole time
How things were before
You try not to compare
But the comparisons are everywhere
They define each interaction, the
Social anxiety turns into something of a
The way you walk in the world
Shifts from day to day,
Has to deal with, and
Something that never goes away.
The memories of how things used to be
Juxtaposed with how they are
Drives me mad,