Queer People are Sex Monsters

Queer people are sex monsters!!!

Tell your friends

This is what I’ve learned. This is what I’ve been taught. This is what random people assume all the time. This is what I’m hearing while eavesdropping at the coffee shop right now–

Some middle aged married guy who’s gushing the most judgmental nonsense I’ve heard from anyone in a while.

Keep in mind, I myself am very judgmental. I have a podcast where I just poop out opinions and judgements as if people want to know them.

This stranger is approx. 10000000x worse than I am. I am haughty to point this out. Somebody get this arbitrary homophobe a podcast, STAT!

I don’t think people are evil by nature, but I do think they are extremely judgmental by nature.

Judgement is a powerful thing. The Bible is like, totally into judgement. Judgement is maybe more powerful a sentiment than evil. I’m not really sure what evil is, but I’ve seen Kellyanne Conway–so I’ve got a guess. She isn’t like, crazy super powerful. She’s normal-medium powerful. Judgement, contempt, disgust–these things have a lot more power than Kellyanne/evil seems to.

Maybe judgment is evil? How could it be, since it’s part of justice. Justice implies the possibility of mercy. Mercy is good, right? Mercy can’t be evil!


Mercy can totally be evil.

Judgement, justice, mercy, punishment– all can be abused in either direction.

Evil seems to be totally irrelevant to these concepts. Why am I talking about good and evil?

I guess I want to talk about morality.

Queer morality vs. straight morality.

Hey, I didn’t want to make a distinction. Ya’ll heteros are the one making the distinctions.

Straight relationships are “different” than queer ones, right? Instead of considering another perspective, go ahead cast it as “other” in your head, and make judgements about it.

ughghghahs;dlkajsd;lfkjasd;lfkja my soul is so full of kombucha and vinegar.

Queer people have lots of sex with other people, and don’t respect monogamy even if they have a partner

Actual nonsense. Most queers are huge prudes. Either through parenting or society–queer people are taught to hate themselves and their desires. They have all of the same respect or disrespect of monogamy as straight people.

Your sexuality IN NO WAY indicates what your ideal relationship model would be.

Straight people are not inherently monogamous. They’re also not inherently faithful. They also get addicted to sex.

Queer sex is fetish sex.

Queer people have less respect for sex than heterosexual couples.

Nope. Nope. NOPE

Straight sex is not more or less natural than queer sex. They also do not have more or less respect for sex than queer people do.

When you realize you’re queer, oftentimes it comes with a whole lot of baggage you have to sort through. Things like

  • why are my sexual desires different than my friends?
  • who can I tell about what I am feeling?
  • what are my desires and are they normal?
  • how will my advances be received socially?
  • how will my family and friends react to my sexuality?
  • do I have to tell anyone and what do I tell them?

BONUS REALIZATION: am I the gender I identify with? am I trans? am I non-conforming?

I understand that ALL PEOPLE have a hard time coming to terms with their sexuality and that being straight/asexual doesn’t make puberty easier. I’m simply pointing out that a queer puberty is different.

Everyone experiences puberty differently. I know, it sucks for everyone.

Queer puberty sucks a ton. Going through puberty in the wrong gender is more than most trans teens can handle. This difficult coming of age period is a huge part of why the LGBTQIA teen suicide rate is so much higher than the average teen’s rate.

This extra struggle does not come purely with trauma and sadness and sacrifice.

Deep valleys make high peaks.

It really truly does get better.

I was so certain for a while that it wouldn’t, but it does. Trust me, I don’t trust anyone. That’s how you know it’s legit.

Lolololll I crack myself up

Ok I’m getting distracted.


We also have to live our truth against a tsunami of judgmental bullshit. Like coffeeshop guy’s random assumptions. Many of us have had to sacrifice family, friends, lovers and careers in order to be true to ourselves.

Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of souls lost to the HIV/AIDS epidemic that ravaged our community. Whole generations of family lost because of bigotry, hatred and negligence.

So yeah, when people say that queer people don’t respect sex and are all sex addicts, I get frustrated and confused. How could a community of people who have sacrificed all they have to live their truths and love their lovers not have respect for sex?

The whole fucking point of being queer is having respect for sex. Having too much respect for sex to live a lie. Too much respect for it to be unfaithful. Too much respect for love to be with the wrong person just because “that’s what people do”.

Maybe the frat boys raping and drugging and taping are the real sex monsters. Maybe the nice, white, tight-pants guy down the street with a secret second family is the real sex monster. Maybe the priests and the pastors are the real sex monsters.

Batman is not a criminal. He might wear a mask, only go out at night, and beat the shit out of people–but he’s not a criminal.

Don’t be like the Gotham police.

Don’t let yourself see queer people as more or less sexual than straight people. This applies to queer people as well. If I had a dime for every time someone said they hate RuPaul because it’s too sexual and gross…

I CAN’T EVEN. If you’re queer and you hate RuPaul because it is “stereotypical”, you are self-hating.

There are a million other reasons to hate the show. If your reason is that it is too flamboyant, too stereotypical, or too sexual; you might be a sad, bitter, self-hating queer.

This is like, a whole other rant for a whole other day. TBContinued.

Roast me.

I’m so ready to be burned by you.

I missed you, lovely.

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