Redundancies

It’s like

Technically I’m free, because

I’m not in prison, but

I’m imprisoned by money, and the society that makes it.

I wonder what it is

That makes people think the way things are

Is acceptable, I wonder why

So many years, so many generations

Justify such dramatic inequality

Such class atrocities, and yet

At the end of the day

I know, that I am an American, and that

I could travel to any class I want to

And no one would ever believe

I was anything except for the body

I am also imprisoned in. I wonder if it is

Healthy to see it as such and yet as a transgender person

This perspective seems to crop up often

Before top surgery I felt imprisoned in my own body and now

I am less, I am more free, and yet

I am still imprisoned by the rules of society, the judgements of others

The fact that when I take my shirt off I am

A shiftless fat woman who had a double mastectomy. This reality

Is not lost on me, and yet

I am free

I am a man.

I wonder who else knows exactly what it is

To be free in such a way where

The thoughts and opinions of others matter so little that

My identity and my body are truly a living, breathing artwork

A house I was born with.

I used to think it was odd to see yourself as such a thing however

Much like houses

The more you renovate

The nosier your neighbors become.

When you renovate your own body you make it susceptible

To other’s judgements

It’s not how things should work but it is how they work.

Anyway, I have never felt

More free in my whole life

Since renovating my house body

I am so blisteringly free people just

Want to talk to me, everybody just likes

My energy. It’s weird as hell.

I keep bursting from place to place

Exploding all over and I meet

More limits than I’ve ever found

It’s like

The free-er you get

The more boundaries you find, the more

You start to get a lay of the land

The more you see the jail cells.

It’s like our whole society is a prison

That you can’t live without, by punishment of law

Else you might be sent

To the society’s prison

Redundancies and all.


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