Repulsive
Hands down
The weirdest, most embarrassing
Most mind boggling
Frustrating,
Humiliating thing about the first time
My heart was broken–
Was how attractive my girlfriend was
To most all the guys she was blowing.
But to me
Even when we were happy
She was hideously grotesque
Despite how unbelievably
Utterly
Conventionally sexy she was
She was always so
Pungent, in a way that
Doesn’t get me going, at all.
Oh man, how
Repulsive she was to me.
I was so heartbroken
When she left!
Why?!
Perspective is key, I suppose.
I used to think I didn’t have a type
But now I know my qualifications a little more
Clarified
I’ve not gotten more shallow–
Rather much, much less.
Anything that reminds me of her
Is on the “do-not-call” list
My current GF has a similar list, I think
She doesn’t really keep a list, but
She has dropped some hints.
For example,
If I play a lot of video games
She flips a shit and starts to think
I’m gonna start being like him
Some stranger I don’t know
Who I don’t resemble
Hahah, well
He kinda resembled me
I came first,
But not with her, or course
Ladies first is an important personal motto
I never come until my lady has blown her load
Hahah
Lol
We have been mixing sex metaphors lately
It’s been
Hilarious, to me.
“Load”
Hah!
Ain’t nobody
Got any semen round these parts
We’d call the cops, sooner
Anyway…
My girlfriend hates it when I
Remind her of her ex
Even though he is some random
Guy I ain’t never met.
She is nothing like my ex,
So we don’t have issues the other way.
But sometimes
I meet people
That I’m not fucking
That remind me of her
And I still hate them
Way more than they deserve.
Jesus Christ
Why is my brain, so evil
And so selfish?
Why can’t I just
Like people as
Individuals?
Maybe because
I have not been allowed to be
Authentically me
So I am enraged
By anyone who is at ease
My ex was very at ease
In a repulsive sort of way
She made me think she was better
Than everyone on earth, oh man, lady–
Wrong.
Lmao.
Sad.
Tremendously bad.
I guess the only thing that matters
Is growing
Learning, and
Thriving.
She made such fantastic
Manure for me to grow in