Sometimes I feel like I have
Soft, flexible dinner plates stuck underneath my skin
Where my tits used to be.
Probably because, well
I kinda do. I don’t have implants I have
I don’t know if people understand how scars work–
I sure didn’t, at least before experience–
They are much deeper than the surface. You scar
Everywhere you are cut.
For example, when I had my back surgery
I have this small 2.5 inch scar
That is at least 2-3 inches deep, all the way
Down into my backbone.
For top surgery, I made sure to ask
How deep, and she explained that she had to cut me
Down to my breastbone.
I have a lot of scarring horizontal but
The 3D nature of scars
Are lost on all who don’t have them.
It is not skin deep, it is
To my bone and I am
Healing still. I know it’s going to be
Less and less noticeable with time, it already
I have numb plates of scars
Shifting over my pecs
Where my tits used to be, and
The irony is not lost on me.
Anyway, moving and lifting and fucking have been
Fantastic for increasing my mobility so I will keep
Living happily, just thought it was kind of
Poetic in a fucked up Dickinson sort of way that
In order to look more a man I had to get a
Permanent underwire and
Some dinner plates.