Scriptless Script for Screenless Play for Performances Only In My Head
Here I am again
Laughing my ass off at another
Fantastic scriptless script–
For a screenless play
For a theater performance that is
Only in my head–
Picture this–
Classical music horror, conductor
Is a massive narcissist hard ass idiot
*cough cough all of them*
Who is relentlessly belittling, harassing
Verbally abusing and emotionally manipulating
The orchestra musicians in rehearsal, and then
Cutting their pay, delaying their checks, embezzling
Bedazzling, whatever you wanna call it–
Drinking and driving and conducting the ensemble
Right off a cliff, until
One of the violists —
Snaps…!
Forms an organization
In the ensemble, at night
In secret, of all the
Assistants, the seconds, the
Odd instruments, feeling extra-down, extra-out
All the conductor’s favorite targets
They get together
And they insist
That they must act, they must knock
This conductor down a few pegs. They consult with
An outside hitman, who says
Any kind of physical attack, will draw
Unnecessary attention
They can’t risk it, none of them want to go
To prison, so instead–
They hire someone a bit
Supernatural, who curses the conductor
With the feeling of hot tar
Pouring from their pores only
During concerts. Morphing, changing
Unable to break course, unable to change until finally
He rips his clothes of in delirious fervor
Convinced he is being scaled with hot tar
And rolled in feathers, all while hearing
“Do it again, but better!!”–
His catch phrase, the very thing
He built his career off of, the backs of others–
Tar and feather
Do it again, but better!!
I guess one ending could be with
The conductor’s career in tatters
And the orchestra decides to go
Conductorless.
Alternatively they could all just
Experience the same punishment
Now that they crossed the line
Or perhaps
The last scene is
The conductor, penniless
Driven mad by the feeling
Of the tar on his skin, much like
The anxiety he was spreading,
Not unlike the curse he was given.