Sex and Love

People think that sex and love are the same thing.

This has become kind of obvious to me.

I don’t understand?

They are separate

They are not the same

They are two different things

Made differently.

Sex; is an activity–

You do it.

Love; is a state of being–

You experience it.

You can experience sex, but

You’re still doing it.

You can experience love, but

You can’t control it–

No one has control over

Who and what and how they love–

Love is bigger than we can understand.

Whether or not

You love someone

Is not relevant

To the activity of sex.


I, as a demisexual

Can only become aroused

For and by someone

Of which I am romantically invested.

It’s a blessing and a curse, the

Blessing being that I

Have a clear and finite understanding

Of what it’s like to

Fuck someone and not love them, and

Vice versa.

The experiences for me have been

Dramatically different.

I am never able to orgasm with someone

I don’t having feelings for, vs.

When my girlfriend touched me

For the first time

On my nipple I

Came so hard I

Cried a bit–

What the fuck babe

What kind of magic are you?!

The point is,

Love and sex

Are not


They are the most

Fantastic compliment, like

Peanut butter and chocolate, or

Peanut butter and jelly, or

Peanuts in a bucket or

Peas in a pod in a peanut butter jar

All sorts of different types of

Peanut butter harmonies

You can also have

Incredible fantastic sex

With someone

That you are not in love with


I think the straights call

Those people “fuckbuddies”–

Again, here in MAI

I try to stick to what I’m best at

So I can’t speak for what it’s like

To have tons of incredible

Casual sex where you

Thought you were in love

But it was just fucking all along!

This predicament

Is in enough movies and

Rom coms for me to

Not feel too strongly about

Including it in the poem.

I suppose it must be

Exhausting to be so sexual that

The sex alone is enough to

Fall in love, but

For me that is not how it works

For me,

Sex and love are separate

But when they are both

There, my heart fills

So much with love it feels as if

My blood is made of bliss

And my eyes can’t stay

In their sockets, bulging and

Crying and emotionally exploding

Oh and

Lots and lots and lots and lots of coming

So yes

Sex and love are together but

It’s rare and it’s

The stuff that all the

Poems are about, it’s not

Typical and it’s not

The norm, at least based on

What I see around town.

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