There is this guy at my job
No matter what
Will one-up whatever you say
As best as he can.
I don’t think he is often telling the truth.
I think that means he might be lying, although–
Most of it is believable and almost
Boring, it’s just the tone of voice he uses
That makes it sound like he’s one-upping you
In reality he is a bloated buffoon idiot who
For the love of god can’t fucking zip it
It’s gotten to the point
Where I kinda wanna just start
A shitting contest
And see who wins
With bowels like mine
He will really have to do himself in.