Shitting Contest

There is this guy at my job

Who

No matter what

Will one-up whatever you say

As best as he can.

I don’t think he is often telling the truth.

I think that means he might be lying, although–

Most of it is believable and almost

Boring, it’s just the tone of voice he uses

That makes it sound like he’s one-upping you

In reality he is a bloated buffoon idiot who

For the love of god can’t fucking zip it

It’s gotten to the point

Where I kinda wanna just start

A shitting contest

And see who wins

With bowels like mine

He will really have to do himself in.