Solomon’s Bastard

Sometimes I’m like

Being trans is so fucked—

If anyone knows too much about you

It changes the way they see you

And then it’s as if you are back where you were

No matter how far you’ve felt your soul go,

No matter how comfortable the new normal.

It’s like you have to give people

Half of yourself

Only

Because otherwise they’d treat you differently.

Its not that I can’t it’s that

I want some peace for myself !

I want a piece of happiness.

I want something that actually feels right

And not half right half lonely.

I hesitate to say things like

“Being trans gives you a higher state of consciousness

A higher state of awareness”

Because truth is not everyone is like this but also

Anxiety is a real fucking thing but

Who wouldn’t be anxious

Being halved, daily.