Some Men Look Like Danny DeVito/Wanting To Be A Gimli
A big part of why I write it all down, why I
Record most of it, and why I live
Is that I think it’s important
To be honest about my perspective
As I go through this transition.
I think it’s quite odd that
I am both unallowed to talk about
Body image issues and trans people
While I, as a trans person
Have body issues, and gender dysphoria.
The only acceptable narrative, the only one
People sympathize with
Is one that leaves you skinnier.
It doesn’t seem to matter that
When I went to therapy
They told me I needed to lose weight
Before I even knew whether or not I was
As if that makes one lick of sense.
It never matters that my mom asked me
If I was doing all of this to lose weight
In the first place…
It doesn’t matter that HRT
Doesn’t give you one response, one reaction
It doesn’t matter that top surgery
Unequivocally, without a doubt
Leaves you with a thinner shadow.
It doesn’t seem to matter
To the greater trans community
That some men look like Danny DeVito.
We’re all in this for the same reasons–
Which I guess
Has one cure–
Lose weight, build jaw line
Buy a nice dick and
My issue is why can’t I be
A fat man with pride
In the queer community,
Unless I identify
As a sexualized stereotype, or a bear
Or some kind of cute animal avatar
No one thinks is healthy to aspire to be?
Why can’t I just be healthy
And be me
What is so unbelievable about
Wanting to be a