Straight Guy’s Girlfriend’s Birthday

It’s this

Straight Guy’s

Girlfriend’s birthday

And he is celebrating

By posting pictures

Of himself

And describing

All the ways

She makes his life better

And how she is the most

Wonderful woman in the world

And how much she loves him

By noticing the little things

About what he does

And what he needs

And how incredibly

Supportive and loving

She is to him

And I’m sure

This makes me

Something that the

Men hate, but–

His birthday celebration

Reads as an English teacher’s

Final essay grade

With a little note on the back

About how “special” you are–

Maybe someday you’ll be

Able to sit at the

Teacher’s table

Just kidding,

Now get back to class!


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