Stream of Consciousness

Lately I’ve been wondering

If I could put a tap in my brain

Not the kind that gets you high, permanently–

Silly!–

But the kind you use for maple trees

To collect, accumulate

Make a syrup sweeter than the bees

I want to stick the tap

Into my head

And let the thoughts flow out

A stream of “consciousness”

If conscious is the state I’m in

I feel like I’ve been awake

For 700 consecutive days

I am awake when I’m asleep

Living those recurring dreams

Forget REM, I can’t risk it

Floating high to keep the dreams at bay

God, I love bay leaves

I wish they were the taste of weed

Weed, as it is, tastes kind of meh

I like it, but like

Meh.

Its medicinal, i ‘spose

Recreational is how it’s used the most

Should be legal. Alcohol? I dunno

I think that rape should be illegal

Is it? Really?

Where’s the proof ?

I don’t even feel safe under

My own roof

I had a room of my own

And I gave it to her

Then I gave it to her

Then I gave it to them

Now I share it with her

I no longer seek my own room

I am seeking space, shared

A community garden

Decades of roots

Cycling the soil and composting

Truth! Hah, right

You almost forgot this was a poem

You almost thought that the words

Had a pattern

But they don’t, until they do

What else could I do to prove

How heartbroken I am

Over years of abuse

Compiling and compressing

The quality is depressing

I just want the world to be at peace

I don’t think that can happen

It’s making me depressed

What a self-important cunt, I am

To think that this is my problem

So be it I can’t help it

Y’all are fucking depressing

I want to bake the world a pan of dressing

The way my aunt used to for thanksgiving

Three different trays, one for “vegetarians”

I have no idea why that one was there

No one was ever a vegetarian

It was just the tray that was easiest to eat

The least filling

That way we could start with stuffing

And still have room

For the “good stuffing”

Hah omg

All the stuffing is good

This broadcast is being briefly interrupted to bring you and urgent message–

Men are disgusting.

I wish that someone would shame their eating

The way my entire being

Has been shamed

My whole life

I kind of want to be a dominatrix?

I worry I’d get carried away

And punish some selfish dickbitch

And get arrested

Right ?

Just what I said right there

Is enough for most guys to want to put

A bullet in my head

Fucking like you’d even know

God will judge you for the way you treated me

I called her last weekend,

She’s got a thing for soft butches

Oh, and toe tickles

So,

Talk to me like the threat I am

Talk to me like I’m God’s favorite little toy,

A voluptuous whore sucking on her toes

If god made us her carriers,

What do you think she will think of you

If you mistreated us?

Aren’t you afraid of her?

That’s what you scream at us

To be afraid of god, to put your trust in her

I’m sick of this, I’m worried and I’m anxious

There is no god, there are no laws

There is no code and I couldn’t crack it

If I tried

I want to quit, I am an

Angry wallowing tar pit

When the volcano dies down,

I die with it.

Now the thoughts have been released

The pressure isn’t building so intensely

My stream of consciousness

Has been reduced to a drip

Boy, it makes me sad

Watching all my thoughts, all my dreams

Spill onto the floor

No one puts a bucket where I need it!

Oh well

At least I’ve been relieved.