The Most Irrational Feeling

I’m in love with you but we spoke

In code

For so long that we became

Untranslatable. I don’t know if it’s right

To trust someone I fell

That hard for, I mean

Clearly she was pretending

To be someone I dream of

All so that she could be interested in

Someone else, and leave me hanging, right…?

That’s how love works isn’t it?

Or is it just the woman I wish I was with

That I will fall in love, see

I have a condition. One where

The grass is always greener. The job

Could always be better. The food

Almost as good as I remember.

The sex—

Never as good as the sex I have

In my dreams and fantasies I am

Sick of lusting

I wish I could discipline the love I have

Into the love that it should be and yet

I just have no control over

The most irrational feeling.