Thinking Out Loud/Goddamn If I Was Cis/Connecting

So the Leo I mean

What the hell.

She’s really playing a lot of cards

Often, heavily.

She calls me…? After work I’m like

Should I call hr…?

Or should I just ask her what she’s doing

goddamn if I was Cis

I dunno what I would do with this.

I’d probably not be

In this job, or in this situation

To begin with, so perhaps

I should focus on what I want

Now

Because that’s what’s real.

I want the girls that don’t talk to me

The ones that come on to me forwardly are

Strange to me. Why ?

I am the monster I do not

Get asked on dates. I have to chase

Something coming this easily towards me

Is suspect to say the least.

I keep being like

I hate politics in Florida.

So what if your neighbors are on hormonal medications.

Mind your own business.

I love queer people but I am not gay.

Also

I just got out of a really bad relationship and a

Worse breakup. Please keep your distance

It’s suspect If they aren’t running

No matter how much draws them towards me

I often wonder why anyone would want me

Which, again, seems to be why I date

The wrong kind of people. But

How can I tell if they are or are not

The right kind

Based on nothing but my gut?

It’s been wrong too many times

I don’t know enough to know

I’m not alright with being pursued

I’d rather keep being rejected by

People who are wrong for me

At least that way I don’t have to risk

Connecting.